It’s a quiet day at the beach. There’s loads of space left on the towel that I’m laying on. My kingsize towel is missing its queen.

My pupils stare at the inside of my eyelids. Daydreaming about sleepless nights and names I’ve forgotten.

I’ve been told that my world sometimes seems to revolve around women and that I write about sex often. Well… of course I do.

I just spent years disliking life, mostly in solitude. Women are the diabolical angels lifting me up, keeping me from falling into the flames and darkness. They’re my beautiful escape.

Footsteps behind me. A hand on my shoulder, an arm around my waist, a kiss on my cheek, a giggle in my ear. She’s right on time for the sunset.

I glance at her and look at everything that evolution has blessed her with.

“Especially you, my favourite drug,” I tell her. “I rarely ever drink nor do I snort anything, but I’d be happy to overdose on you.”

“You can talk as much as you want without saying anything. Your voice is a treat, your words leave me speechless.”

“Your body makes me a believer. When you open up your legs, that’s when I’m closest to finding god. I love all your shapes from your bottom to the top. But honestly I’m aiming for that gorgeous thing that’s pounding underneath your chest. That’s why I want to be inside of you all the time, in hopes of finding your heart.”

I put on my sunglasses.

“You see, I might not be your happily ever after, but I can embrace your heart for the night.”

I see how the sun starts bathing.

“I’m living in this paradox, my dear. I’m looking for love, not sure if I’m ready to find it yet.”

“At nighttime I want it all. I want to whisper the sweetest of nothings into your ear, put a ring on your finger, start a family, you name it. Yet, the morning after is my reality pill. There’s all these dreams to chase, these new faces to get acquainted with and all this stupid shit to regret later on that needs to be done.”

I sigh.

“I know I shouldn’t project all my hopes of finding happiness on someone else and I won’t. But you’re such a nice break from everything. You’re lust, passion and a cute smile. You’re my Band-Aid for the night.”

“Heal me for a moment. Act as if we could be more than we are. Hold my hand. Distract me from the pain that I haven’t told you about. Let me caress all your heavenliness. Press your lips on mine. Let’s pretend that it’ll all be okay.”

“That’s what it boils down to. I love how you temporarily erase my memory. How you relieve me from that what you’re not able to see.”

I look at her magnificent face.

“Smile at me, cariño. Because you know I’ll be wearing mine upside down.”

“You don’t know my full name, let alone all the shipwrecks that are laying on the bottom of these ocean eyes. And you don’t need to know. Let’s become a memory we both cherish. You’ll never be another number on my scoreboard. Your name’ll be written in cursive in my hall of fame. I’m a sophisticated dog, you know.”

I wake up. There’s loads of space left on the towel that I’m laying on. My kingsize towel is missing its queen.

Long dark hair and whiskey eyes walk past. She smiles. I get up, ignore the nerves and introduce myself.

Maybe, just maybe, she might be…

Subscribe to the website!

Be sure to follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/asmjournal

Buy the book at: https://asmjournal.gumroad.com/l/headfirst