I arrive in Medellín, put my bag in my hotel room and change clothes. It’s been five months since my love and I last met.

The metro takes me for a trip down memory lane and drops me off at purgatory station.

A pile of anecdotes is already waiting for me on the sidewalks. I glance, smirk, check the inventory in my back pocket and nod. I take a deep breath and dive in, ready to spend all night fu…

No I don’t.

Medellín and I get along a bit too well. To protect myself and to actually get some work done I decide to flee before I even get the chance to smell that mesmerising scent of the dark side.

At purgatory station I take a right, where a friend is waiting for me. We go for coffee, enjoy the view of the city and reminisce. The next day I leave for a nearby city up in the mountains for a month of recovery, structure and writing.

The apartment is decent. From the windows I can see the surrounding mountainous landscape and it’s sort of quiet - for Colombian standards.

The kitchen cabinets get filled up with healthy groceries, I apply for a gym subscription and lock myself in the apartment for the weekend.

Over the course of four weeks I actually stick to the regime of structure and recovery. And apart from an outburst or two, during which Lucifer and I go for a late night dinner, I behave like a good boy.

Hearts stay intact, livers clean and I devour fruits and vegetables like it’s my lover’s pet.

Nothing too exciting occurs and I’m okay with that. Knowing that these weeks of tranquility shall be followed and compensated by weeks of excitement.

All time is invested in the new concept I set up, called: CDKY (Camp Don’t Kill Yourself).

By writing short stories and publishing these on social media I’m hoping to reach people struggling mentally and/or have suicidal thoughts. A topic that I’m all too familiar with.

Combining the writing with these topics that are very close to my heart seems to me to be a necessary and wonderful thing to do. The idea of turning that which I once considered my weakness into something positive appeals to me.

I start the CDKY-campaign, write new paragraphs for a second novel and fly out to do something I’ve been looking forward to for months: meeting up with my friend. A man flying out of the Netherlands to spend a week together.

The first familiar face since I saw my parents.

Time to compensate.

www.instagram.com/campdky

Check out @campdky on TikTok.

Buy the book at: https://www.amazon.com/Vic-Koopmans-ebook/dp/B0B6TC4WX9/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=GWSYPFYSYYSU&keywords=vic+koopmans+head+first&qid=1658281167&sprefix=vic+koopmans+headfirst%2Caps%2C127&sr=8-1